Bleach Awards
by Tale Slayer
Summary: The characters of Bleach have all gathered to proudly present to you the official Bleach Awards! Enjoy 100 categories of awards given out by your beloved hosts, Kon and Nel.
1. Introduction

Lights danced around the large auditorium. The antsy audience talked rambunctiously amongst themselves. People of all different races- human, Shinigami, Quincy, Arrancar- filled the seats in the room. Friends took this as an opportunity to chat with each other while some cursed in disdain as they tried to refrain from starting an outright war; granted the fact that their mortal enemy was bound to be in the same room. Suddenly, upbeat music began to blare from the high-tech speakers. The lights gradually gathered to shine on the closed curtains. A hush fell over the audience. The velvety red curtains pulled back to reveal a small lion plushie, not even a foot tall. He held a small microphone with one er- stuffed paw.

The lights focused on him. He spoke into the mike with an overly excited voice. "Hello ladies and gentleman! But more importantly, the _ladies_! My, my look at all the boo-"

The mod soul was cut off when a sudden bundle of green wrestled the mike out of his hands and knocked him unconscious. "Hi dere everybody! Ooh, dis stick thingy makes Nel's voice loud!" Nel Tu Odelschwanck promptly began shrieking into the microphone. The audience covered their ears in agony. However, two certain masked arrancars began dancing to her 'singing'. They shouted words of encouragement.

Her shout was loud enough to waken Kon, who immediately brought his arms up to cover his ears. He snapped up.

"I can't work with _this_! You expect me to host the show with her?" He asked incredulously. "I demand a different person! Preferably a woman with triple D's!" He stomped a squishy foot as he threw his tantrum. But instead of a large breasted co-host, he was brought another microphone by a fellow mod-soul, Noba. Kon wailed in anguish as he glared at Nel, who was slobbering over her own mike. "Tch, fine. I'll just do this thing on my own!" He brought the mike up to speak.

But Nel interrupted him yet again. "Anyway, let's git down ta biz-ness! This is da Bleach awards! We'll be announcin' a category for ya to vote on every chapter! Ya have at least a week to git your votes in!"

Kon shoved her aside. "You vote by leaving a review; so don't be afraid to do so! This week's category is-"

Nel jumped right in front of him. "Favorite Episode! Votin' starts right now so git to it!"

"I hate this job," Kon muttered as he sadly walked backstage as Nel skipped after him. The curtains fell on the stage.

**Like Nel said, get to voting! This show depends on your votes so don't be afraid to! I'll be checking and tallying up the votes either this or next Friday. Suggestions and thoughts are also welcome. PM me if you have any questions. :)  
**

**Voting ends 3:00 EST every Friday. Results will be out the following Saturday.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.  
**


	2. Don't Forget to Vote

**( Backstage )**

"Oi you! We only have 4 votes!" Kon growled angrily at Nel as he paced back and forth around the room.

"An' why are you tellin' me this?" Nel, who sat on top of the marble counter, wondered out loud.

He tsked. "It's _your _fault we have such low views! If Orihime-chan was our lovely co-host, we'd be overflowing with reviews!" He immediately began to blush at the thought of her.

Nel scratched her head at this. "It's not Nel's fault. An' why would ya think we'd be dat popula just coz of a different host?"

Kon whirled around. "Isn't it obvious? You don't have those heavenly-"

"Ah, shut it Kon." A sudden foot cut off the now muffled lion. "Yo," Ichigo casually said to Nel.

"Itsygo!" Nel screeched as she suddenly rocketed into his arms. He caught her with an _oof_! "Waz I good out there earlier?" She grinned at him. He sweatdropped.

"Um, yeah! Just don't eat the microphone next time," he said as kindly as he could. A loud, muffled voice came from under his foot. "Hm?" Ichigo lifted up his foot. Kon dashed out and began gasping for air.

"Bastard! You did that on purpose!" Kon pointed an accusing arm at him.

"No shit. Now stop complaining and do what you're supposed to do," Ichigo replied with an eye roll as Nel began to climb onto his back, slobbering over him as she did so.

"R-right," Kon reluctantly agreed. "Oi you! Is the camera rolling?" He barked to Shuuhei, who was the cameraman.

Shuuhei rolled his eyes. "It's been rolling the entire time. We're broadcasting live."

Kon jumped at this. "WHAT? You mean they all saw me being pathetically stomped on by Ichigo?!" he exploded.

"Yeah" was the bland response he got. Kon began to wail. Seeing this, Nel began to take over.

"So da category's still Favorite Episode. But people ain't votin' so we can't decide which is gonna be da winner!"

Kon snapped his head up and growled when he saw that Nel was stealing his limelight. He jumped back into the camera frame. "Ahem. So we need you guys to vote! This time, we ask you to only vote from our list of nominees. They are-"

**Episode 132 - Hitsugaya, Karin, and Soccer Ball  
**

**Episode 16 - The Encounter, Abarai Renji  
**

**Episode 228 - Summer! Sea! Swimsuit Festival **(_"What?! Why wasn't I present?!"_ Kon demanded.)

**Episode 303 - Real World and Shinigami! The New Year Special! ****  
**

A tick mark appears on Kon's forehead. "These are the nominees? I only appear in _one_ of those episodes! And that was when I'm tied behind a toilet by Nee-san!"

Nel shoved him aside. "Well, git to votin'! If we git enough votes, results will come out tomorrow!"

Ichigo came into the camera view. "Please only vote for one of the nominees. We apologize if you did not get the chance to nominate your favorite episode. But hey, there's always next time."

Kon barged in. "Yeah! And next time, nominate _me_!"

Ichigo's brows furrowed even more that usual. "Only thing you'd be nominated for is the 'Dumbest Character' category!"

With that, a fight ensued. The camera awkwardly turned to Shuuhei. He coughed. "Ahem. U-um, technical difficulties."

**Sorry guys! I'd really appreciate it if you voted? This 'show' really depends on it. Since I can't announce the results without you guys. A big thanks to the people who already voted! :) Don't be shy, leave a review! **

******Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	3. Favorite Episode

Cheesy music began to blare once again as the curtains rose. Our two hosts stepped out. The audience half-heartedly clapped. Kon stepped up to the podium, holding an envelope in one paw. He coughed into the mike.

"Damn you all! I want a better applause next time!" He demanded. A random member of the audience yelled, _"Shut up and get started!" _

Kon growled. "Hey kid, what's the category again?" He looked at Nel expectantly.

"Favorite Episode!" she chirped. Then she added, "Ooh he's stupid too. Can't even rememba da category an' it's only been 2 chapters!"

"I don't wanna hear that from you!" he snapped and glared at the small toddler, who was now picking her nose. "Hmph! Anyways, we got a couple of more votes so we can now announce the results. Yadda yadda ya."

Nel grabbed the envelope. "Ooh ooh, I wanna see!" She began to tear the envelope apart until Kon grabbed it out of her hands. Nel glared at him while he smiled triumphantly. An idea popped into her head. She puckered up her lips and scrunched up her entire face. She whimpered and sniffed. Then she started outright bawling, snot and all.

Seeing this, Ichigo- who was seated in the front row- yelled at Kon. "Dammit, give her back the envelope!" Others began to boo and shout at Kon. Pesche and Dondochakka got up out of their seats and jumped up and down.

Kon immediately thrust the white envelope back to Nel. As soon as she got it, she stopped crying and sniffed all of her snot back in. Everyone watched her in disgust.

"So, da winner of da Favorite Episode category iz..." She paused for dramatic effect. "Episode 132: Hitsugaya, Karin and Soccer Ball!"

A trumpet went off. The audience applauded as Karin walked up to the stage, holding the infamous soccer ball. A certain white-haired captain grumpily followed behind her. Yuzu and her dad were the loudest applauders of all.

Rangiku whistled loudly. "I knew you liked her Taichou!"

"Woo hoo! Go Karin-chan!" Yuzu squealed.

Isshin had tears streaming down his face. "Our baby is growing up so fast. MASAKI!"

Yuzu patted his back soothingly as she wiped away her own tears. "I hope her boyfriend treats her well."

Suddenly, a ball was thrown right at Isshin and hit his face. It immediately stopped his crying. The camera went back to the stage and zoomed in on a very angry Karin. The ball was no longer in her hand. She and Toshiro were both deeply scowling. "He is _not _my boyfriend!" she screamed.

"It was just a soccer game!" Toshiro snapped crossly. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Seeing their fury, Nel finally decided to hand them their prize - the Ichigo Award. The golden plaque was approximately 11 inches tall and was in the shape of Ichigo. He donned normal, human clothes, a Quincy glove, and hollow mask while wielding his zanpakuto. Karin awkwardly accepted it and nodded a thanks to the audience. "Um, yeah. I'd get why you all would like the episode so much. We kicked those middle schoolers' asses!" When the microphone was held up to Toshiro, he did not speak. Instead, his scowl deepened. Silence enveloped the room as the two walked off the stage.

Kon broke the silence. "WHAT?!" he exploded. "What kind of dumbass made _Ichigo_ the award?!"

"I like it. Besides, he _is _the main character and the _hero_," Nel defended. Then she bounced right back into her childish, upbeat manner. "Next category is Favorite Race!"

Kon, still slightly annoyed, arched an eyebrow. "Isn't that a little racist?"

Nel simply ignored him. "Ya nominees are-"

**Human**

**Shinigami**

**Visored**

**Arrancar/Hollow **("Yeah! Vote for this one!" Nel cheered loudly.)

**Quincy **

**Bount **("The hell? Who gives a damn about them?" Kon asked. The present Bount promptly glared at him from their seats.)

As soon as Nel stopped, Kon tapped his foot impatiently. She didn't notice and kept smiling goofily at the camera.

"Hello? What am I? _Chopped liver_? You forgot **Mod Soul**!" Kon waved his arms wildly around.

"Oh." Nel cocked her head to one side. After a moment, she asked, "Waz dat?" With that, she skipped away obliviously.

Kon deadpanned and fainted on stage. He had to be dragged backstage by the calm and collected mod-soul, Noba. He gave a curt nod to the camera. And then the curtains fell.

**Well, voting starts now! Stay tuned to see if your favorite race wins! Also, here are a few rules; please abide by them: ****You may only vote _once_. You may only vote for one of the nominees. If you wish to nominate someone/something, please PM me and I might add it onto the list. Feel free to ask questions or leave suggestions. Thank you. **

******Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	4. Favorite Race

"Hey, we're back with the newest results!" Kon greeted as he and Nel stepped onstage. This time, Nel held the envelope. Kon didn't make any effort to argue with this.

"We're gonna announce da favorite race! Not dat we even needa say it, since we all know arrancars are da best!" she confidently exclaimed. A murmur rippled throughout the audience. Everyone other than the said arrancars, scoffed at her comment.

Kon rolled his eyes. "Oh please. Just open the damn envelope and everyone will see the mod-souls are the superior race."

Nel ripped the envelope open. When she saw the words, her eyes bulged. She said nothing. Kon grumbled. "Hurry up. Accept your defeat and announce me as the winner!" He plucked the paper out of the awestruck girl.

Then it was his turn to be shocked. "_Shinigami_?! What the hell? Those bastards won?" He angrily ripped the letter apart and stomped on the pieces. "And mod-soul didn't get a _single _vote? I don't believe it! I demand a recount! There's no way those assho-"

He was cut off by a sudden sound. He shakily looked up to find the leader of the Gotei 13, Yamamoto, himself. He cleared his throat.

"These said bastards were the one who _created _you," he stated with a dangerous edge.

Kon tried to resist mumbling, "And then threw us out right after." But he failed. Rukia, who was onstage to also accept the 'Favorite Race' award, promptly kicked him for being defiant to the captain-commander.

Nel, being the only conscious host left, took over. She had recovered from her shock by climbing on the back of a slightly irritated Ichigo. "Next category's Favorite Villain! Ya nominees are..."

**Sosuke Aizen **(Many people shuddered and grimaced.)

**Yhwach **

**Jin Kariya **("The leader of the Bount? Oh please, they were a joke." Ichigo smirked. Seated in the audience, the Bount visibly bristled.)

**Muramasa**

**Shukuro Tsukishima **


	5. Favorite Villian

The curtains drew open and our two hosts stepped out to the stage. Half of the audience applauded enthusiastically while the other half didn't bother at all. Seeing this, Kon angrily stomped up to the podium.

"Oi! I want a better applause next time!" he demanded.

A random member of the audience yelled out, "Shaddup you useless doll!"

Kon clenched a fist. "Why you-"

Nel bounced up, waving a piece of paper. "We got da results for 'Best Villian'!" Kon turned to her with a look of disgust, forgetting his short dispute.

"Oh great, I hate them all. Who is it?" he peered curiously at the paper. His eyes grew dark with fear.

He gulped. "A-a-and the winner for 'Best Villian' is... Sosuke Aizen."

Suddenly, a white screen rolled down behind the hosts. A light was projected onto it. Slowly, an image appeared. The audience gasped as they saw the former espada leader sitting in his eternal prison. Whispers of shock rippled throughout the room.

Meanwhile, Kon clenched his jaw. "You bastard... I still haven't forgiven you for what you done to Nee-san."

Aizen chuckled. Through the black bandages wrapped around his face, you could see his eyes slightly crinkle in amusement. "Ah, so this the the Bleach Awards?"

Kon continued to glare at him hatefully. Then begrudgingly whipped out the result paper and showed it to Aizen. "You won the best villian category."

"Unanimously. 'Cept for one person," Nel chirped.

"Not helping," Kon spat.

"Is that so? What an honor," Aizen said melodically. "I suppose I should thank all the people I've killed. I couldn't have won this award without them."

"Alright, that's enough outta you," Kon grounded out. "Oi, cameraman, turn him off!" he barked to Shuuhei.

With one final serene smile, Aizen disappeared from the screen. The atmosphere in the auditorium stayed quiet. The sight of him had created unease and brought back painful memories for many. Luckily, Nel quickly rebounded.

"So ya next category is Favorite Female Character!"

Kon's ears perked up immediately. His anger from just 5 seconds ago disintegrated. "The battle of the beauties!" He clasped his hands together and stared off into space with hearts for eyes. "Well we all know Nee-sama will be victorious. So GO vote now! You can vote for anyone, long as they got those heavenly tit-"

Rukia threw an unidentified object at him, cutting him off. "Close the show already!"

Rather than complain, Kon sighed dreamily. "I love it when she punishes me. Good night everybody." He skips backstage along with Nel. The curtains drew closed.

**Yup, that's right! Any female Bleach character! Hopefully many of you vote so that I can tally up the votes. It's really difficult for me when there's a 3-way tie. Now vote, vote, vote and good luck! Can you guys guess the next category? ;)  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	6. Favorite Female Character

"Hello there~ We're finally back with the results of the winner of Favorite Female Character," Kon sang as he merrily skipped to the podium. He blissfully rested his head in one paw. By his side, Nel stared at him.

"Da doll is actin' weird," she giggled.

"Why you-" he snarled as he momentarily snapped out of his happy atmosphere. But midway, he merely stopped and shrugged. A glint of determination sparkled in his eyes. "No matter, nothing can faze me! Today is the day my beloved Nee-san-" A shoe promptly kicked him in the face. He skidded back 10 feet.

An angry (and one-shoed) Rukia grumbled as she plopped back into her seat. Beside her, Orihime tried to console her.

A beaten up Kon weakly crawled back up. "The envelope kid," he demanded, holding a paw out to Nel.

Much to the audience's surprise, Nel complied. "It's only right fer da winner to be surprised. Ya can't have the winner herself announce it. If ya know what I mean," she explained as she waggled her brows suggestively. The audience sweat dropped.

"We believe in you Nel-sama!" A familiar voice cried out. In the third row, Pesche and Dondochakka animatedly cheered for their sibling/leader.

Kon cleared his throat. "Well we all know Nee-san is the winner but I might as well read it in black and white," he boasted and ripped the envelope open. A eerie smile crept over his face. "And now ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you: the most beautiful, graceful, loveliest... NEE-"

Rukia's other shoe met his face.

"S-sama.." he weakly finished and pressed a button on a little remote he had been holding.

Confetti rained down and sparks went off. A shoeless Rukia stomped onstage amidst the overly dramatic fan flair. On the way to the podium, she purposely stomped on Kon. He yelped out in pain but then sighed contently immediately afterwards.

With a blank stare, Nel simply stood there, clutching the award plague as if it was her dear life. Rukia awkwardly coughed. Nel looked up.

"So first, ya try to steal Ichigo an' now ya take my award..." she trailed off.

Rukia stammered, "P-pardon? Steal Ichigo?"

Nel ignored her and dropped the plague. Rukia managed to catch it before it attempted to flatten her shoeless foot.

"Er- I'll just go now," Rukia said as she quietly crept offstage.

Kon straightened up. "I told you she was going to win," he said smugly. Seeing Rukia glare at him once again, he changes the subject. "Oh almost forgot, as requested- honorable mention goes to Nemu Kurotsuchi!"

The audience respectfully clapped. Beside her, Mayuri only rolled his eyes. "The only accomplishment you ever get and this is it?" he asked in disgust.

Nemu got up and bowed. "I apologize Father." Hearing the word 'father', Mayuri's eyes darken ominously.

"Uh, before this leads to domestic violence, I'm gonna tell you this week's category!" Kon hastily said. "Of course, the results for this one is also predictable."

Not being one to be left out, Nel jumped in. "Git to voting. This week's category is Favorite Male Character!" She beamed. "It's alright dat I didn't win today. Cuz now Ichigo can git his award. So vote for him!"

Kon did a double take. "Ichigo?!" he asked incredulously. "Do you not see this sexy bod-"

From the front row, Ichigo got up in disgust. "Turn the camera off Hisagi!" he yelled.

Kon jumped. "No, wait! Don't cut me off! Not aga-"

**Virtual cookies to those who guessed the obvious next category! Like the last category, you can choose anyone, so long as they're a male character from Bleach. Also, thank you to _everyone _who has voted and reviewed so far. You are greatly appreciated. ^^ As always, don't forget to vote and good luck. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	7. Favorite Male Character

Kon smugly strutted onto the stage. He wore a look of satisfaction on his face.

"Today is a very important day," he declared, leaning into his microphone. He paused for dramatic effect and ignored the multiple eye rolls in the audience. "Today is the day I _win_!"

Beside him, Nel frowned. "No you're not. Itsygo is."

"Hah! That fool isn't even a man! It's obvious that I'm the alpha male here!" Kon jabbed his paw to himself multiple times, proudly holding his head high.

After a moment of silent, Nel cocked her head to the side in deep though. "But ya not a man either. Ya don't even have a dick."

Kon immediately deadpanned. In the audience, Ichigo had angrily got up and was yelling at Pesche and Dondochakka, her supposedly 'brothers'. "What are you teaching this kid?!"

Kon slowly recovered with an awkward cough. "How dare you defile my beautiful sexy body?! Enough! No more stalling, open the results so everyone can see just how amazing I am!" He went on and on with his speech about 'how glorying and awesome he was'.

Someone in the audience muttered, "Who's the idiot that made him host?"

Meanwhile, Nel had opened the envelope. Her face immediately broke into a bright smile. "Da winner is Itsygo!" She jumped up and down and the paper fluttered to the floor.

Kon, who still had not finished his rant, finally stopped. "W-w-what? Let me see that!" He grabbed the paper off the floor. His eyes darted back and forth as he read it in black and white. "This can't be!"

Suddenly, triumphant music went off and confetti rained down onto the stage. The camera zoomed in on Kon's awestruck face as little bits and pieces of colorful confetti fluttered in the air. A slightly irritated, yet flustered, Ichigo walked up to the podium. Nel giddily hopped onto his back with the award plaque in hand. He sighed but ignored her.

"Um, thanks.. I guess. It's not everyday you get a plaque of yourself," he chuckled. "It looks like there's an honorable mention tonight too?" he looked at Nel questioningly.

"Yup, someone named Hanataro Yamada!" she confirmed.

A surprised Hanataro jumped up and fumbled as he bowed deeply. "U-u-um, I didn't expect this. But thank you.." He smiled. Everyone cheered for him. Then someone clapped him on the back, making poor Hanataro fall and effectively ending his short speech.

But no one was more surprised that Hanataro had managed to get an honorable mention than Kon. With veins popped, he pointed an accusing finger at Hanataro. "Traitor! To think I was all chummy with you during all those Shinigami Illustrated Picture Books! You're not even a real man! You're a sissy!"

Ichigo casually walked past him, ignoring his angry rant. Nel, who was still perched on his back, said, "More manly den you."

The last bit of sanity Kon had left abruptly left his small, plush body. Noba had to drag his body away.

"Oh yeah, this week's category is Favorite Division!" Nel quickly added before disappearing backstage.

**Sorry if this is a little rushed! I have a lot of homework to do! Anyways, don't forget to favorite, follow, and review. You can vote for any division (0-13). Please note that this _isn't_ specifically an award for the captain, just the entire division itself. Thank you for reading. Big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I LOVE YOU GUYS. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	8. Favorite Division

"Hey kid, what's today's category again?" Kon asked the small green-haired co host as they casually strolled onstage.

"Favorite Division!" she declared.

Kon rolled his eyes. "What a boring category; it has nothing to do with me," he said with a look of disdain on his face.

"Don't cha want da division of da bad guys that made ya to win?" she inquired.

Kon rolled his eyes once again. "If any thing, I _wouldn't _want them to win. Those bastards- making me only to try to kill me the next day," he snarled as though the said shinigamis were not listening in the audience.

Seated in the audience, fellow mod-soul Rinrin commented, "Idiot! You don't just say that in a room full of shinigamis!"

Kon merely humphed. "Whatever, let's get it over with. Drum roll please?"

A drum roll indeed started as Nel eagerly opened up the results.

"Da winner is the 11th Division!" she announced.

"E-e-eleventh?" Kon asked shakily. He thought back to his days as Hanataro Yamada, when he was terrorized by said 11th division.

Suddenly, a stampede of men ran onstage, stomping Kon unconscious as they did so. Roars errupted among them. Meanwhile, the other shinigami watched with a mixture of disgust and amusement. Those from the 11th division bellowed "All you other wimps can never match us!", "Eleventh is the strongest!", and "All hail Zaraki-taichou!"

At the very front, Ikkaku held the trophy on behalf of his squad. He glared at it scornfully. "Tch, what a pussy ass looking trophy."

Beside him, Yumichika nodded in agreement. He flipped his short hair with a swift movement. "Obviously the inventor does not know what _true_ beauty is. Or they would have put me on the plaque, like it should be."

Before a fight commenced on who should've been the model for the Bleach Awards trophy, a small blur of pink hopped up- right onto Ikkaku's head.

Soon enough, everyone was watching the hilarious sight of Yachiru Kusajishi bouncing up and down on a very irritated Ikkaku. "Gimme that cue-ball!" she exclaimed as she snatched the trophy out of his shaking hands.

With an ominous look in his eyes, Ikkaku slowly drew his zanpakuto. Yumichika stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Let's not soil our magnificent presentation with ugliness."

"Thanks for voting for us! Ken-chan and I are sooo happy!" Yachiru hyper-actively chirped. "Where's the candy prize?" She looked around.

Kon angrily dusted himself off. "If you had actually been paying attention of oh- THE LAST 7 EPISODES, you'd know there is no candy."

"No candy?" A pink fiery aura began to glow around the small lieutenant.

Finally the captain of the barbaric squad appeared. The bloodthirsty man towered over Kon with his staggering height of 6 feet 7 inches.

Kon gulped. "On second thought, lemme go check in the back." He ran backstage as quickly as his short, plush legs could.

"This week's category iz Favorite Shinigami Captain! Vote vote vote!" Nel informed.

A random member of the 11th squad shouted, "If you don't vote for Zaraki-taicho... YOU'RE DEAD."

And with that, a random fight erupted amongst them for no apparent reason. The curtain awkwardly fell as an attempt to hide this. The last glimpse the audience saw was Ikkaku joining the fight and Yumichika standing there, shaking his head.

**Ok, you guys are so unbelievably awesome. Over 100 reviews in just 8 chapters?! *dies from happiness* Thank you so much. I really don't deserve all of your kindness. Keep voting! I always look forward to writing these, even when I have a tight schedule. Just in case you wanted to read a romance from me, I have written a fanfic called Winter Angel. (Which I haven't had the time to update, sorry if you read that and you're still waiting!) Haha, sorry selfish advertising. I'll stop there. Feel free to point out mistakes, PM me for questions. Also, please keep in mind you can only vote for _one _person/place/thing. Thank you! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	9. Favorite Shinigami Captain

"I don't feel so good today kid," Kon moaned as he sluggishly trudged onstage.

"Why's dat?" Nel asked politely with her upbeat personality, greatly contrasting Kon's down mood.

"I dunno. Feels like there's some mysterious supernatural force that's causing me to feel that way.." he said thoughtfully as he looked up into space.

Nel tried to pinpoint what Kon was looking at. "PMS?" she chirped into his ear, startling him back into reality.

Kon deadpanned. "WHAT? No! I'm a man!" he shouted, trying to save the little manhood he had left.

"Ooh let's see who won this category. I think it should be Ichigo!" Nel said, ignoring the evil eye Kon was

"Y-you! He's not even a captain! Are ya just gonna tell people to vote for him for every category?!" Kon sputtered in disbelief.

Kon stopped when he saw Nel simply ignore him yet again and opening up the results. "Damn kid," he cursed under his breath.

"Da winner is... Toshiro Hitsugaya!" she announced, slightly disappointed that Ichigo, who wasn't even a possible nominee, hadn't won.

Kon's ears perked up. "That white haired shortie... that's blessed with the Booby Goddess?" he asked incredulously, saliva already forming at his mouth like a dog with rabies.

Meanwhile, in his seat, Toshiro refused to budge. Momo and Rangiku persistently urged up to accept his award.

"Aww, c'mon taichou~ Out of the whole Gotei 13, you were chosen as the best captain!" Rangiku teasingly cooed to her captain, poking one of his cheeks.

He slapped her hand away. "I do not care about such a useless award," he coldly said.

In the row in front of him, Karin turned around to persuade him. "Aw come Toshiro. Stop being an uptight prissy."

"Yes! Go up and accept your prize my son-in-law!" Isshin smiled with a thumbs-up.

Immediately after he said that, a leg shot out and kicked him all the way to the other side of the auditorium.

Karin put her foot down. "Stupid dad," she muttered.

The entire room seemed to lower a few degrees as the white-haired prodigy reluctantly went to accept his rightful award. He took the plaque out of Nel's hands, making it his official 2nd Beach Award. He gave a short, curt nod to the audience and immediately went back to his seat without another word.

"Well okay then... Next week's category is Favorite Past Shinigami Captain!" Nel announced.

Isshin immediately sprang up. "WHOO HOO! My time to shine~"

A abrupt jab in the ribs sat him right back down.

"Shaddup old man. You're not the only former shinigami captain," Ichigo said blandly as he watched his father writhe in pain on the ground.

Isshin shakily held up a finger. "But I'm the _best _one."

"Ho ho ho! I beg to differ Isshin!" a devious Kisuke Urahara said from the row behind. His eyes glinted beneath his trademark hat.

"And what makes you think _you're _going to win?" Yoruichi then scoffed.

Behind her, Soi Fong stood up, brandishing an evil look towards Urahara. "Yes, Yoruichi is correct. It would have to be the end of the world for a man like you to win an award that is rightfully hers."

Soon enough, all of the former shinigami captains began to childishly bicker on who was the best. Even other individuals began to nominate and support them. And naturally, this led to fighting. And when there was fighting, the 11th Division immediately joined in for no reason whatsoever than for the joy of it.

"Cut! Cut!" Kon urgently insisted.

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**

**Sooo, maybe you guys have been wondering where I've been and why I haven't posted for the last freaking 3 weeks. I deeply apologize and ask for your forgiveness! *bows* I honestly have been going through a lot lately and I have so much work. But again, these are just excuses. But anyways, vote for any former captain! They may be deceased, exiled, no longer have powers, etc. As long as they were once a captain of the Gotei 13 and are no longer a captain as of now, for whatever reason. ONLY VOTE FOR ONE PERSON. Thank you and please vote! You all are incredible. **


	10. Favorite Past Shinigami Captain

Standing at the podium, Kon absentmindedly twirled his microphone around. He yawned and smacked his lips together in a very unprofessionally way. "Well I don't really care about this category since it doesn't have anything to do with me soooo... results!" He demanded from Nel.

"Ain't the only reason ya still in Bleach is cause the Hat Guy was too lazy to throw ya out with the poor merchandise?" Nel inquired.

Kon jumped back. With a sweatdrop, he said, "How do you know about that? DO YOU SEE THIS BODY?" He flaunted his pudgy soft body off to the audience. Small children had to shield their eyes and even the manliest of men squealed out of disgust. "Does this look like _'poor merchandise'_ to you?! Huh?!"

Nel blinked. "Yes."

The spirit of Kon slowly began to leak out of his emotionless body.

Meanwhile, Nel began to curiously open the envelope. "Aaaand da winner is... Yoruichi Shihoin...?"

Kon quickly regained conscious upon hearing this name. "Yeeeeessss! The queen of the beauties!" Tears began to dramatically flow out of his eyes.

"Hahaha! You owe me that money Kisuke!" Yoruichi taunted at Urahara.

He glared back at her. "Impossible!"

"You're telling me! That's MY award!" Isshin popped up. He immediately fell to the ground when Ichigo slammed a fist onto the poor, unsuspecting man.

"Shut up old man. The only thing you'd win is the 'Dumbest Character' award," Ichigo smirked.

Isshin weakly offered him a thumbs up. "Y-you're learning.. my son.."

Urahara stood up. "Now, hold on. This just isn't right! I hacked into the voting pool and everyone has been voting for me so far!"

"YOU WHAT?" the audience gasped.

"Now, now. I was only looking at the votes. I didn't actually unfairly cast any. Even I'm not that low," he sniffed.

"Shut up," a deadly cold voice said behind him. "This award goes to Yoruichi-sama," Soi Fong seethed.

Hisagi blew a horn. "Ok! Ok! I went back and recounted votes... The winner is indeed Urahara-san."

The candy shopkeeper immediately laughed behind his fan. "I told you! In your face!" He pointed at Yoruichi and Isshin. Yoruichi merely rolled her eyes and sat back down, grumbling about how much money she had bet. And Isshin went to a corner and dramatically sobbed, with only Yuzu bothering to comfort him. Soi Fong was the most annoyed individual of all.

"You will pay for this Urahara Kisuke..." she snarled. She only sat back down after Yoruichi asked her to stop chanting death threats.

After Urahara had gone up to receive his award _and _selfishly advertised his candy shop- with Soi Fong glaring at him the whole entire time - Nel and Kon took back over.

"A lotta ya have probably been waiting... Next week's category is... 'Favorite Canon Pairing'!"

Hearing this, Isshin suddenly shrieked "MASAKI!"

Kon glared at him. "Anyways, the rule is you can only vote for CANON pairs ONLY."

"Like me and my beautiful Masaki!" Isshin interjected.

Kon gritted his teeth. "Yes... So unfortunately, you cannot vote for me and Nee-san.. yet."

Rukia sent him a death stare.

Kon awkwardly laughed. "So yeah, only couples that are _actually _couples in the Bleach series. For example... Kuchiki Byakuya and Hisana!"

"Or Kaien Shiba and Miyako Shiba!" Nel said.

Kon gave her a look. "How do you know these names..?"

Nel only grinned. "Voting starts now!"

**Let me specify a little on canon pairings... The only options are: **

**Byakuya and Hisana  
Isshin and Masaki  
Kaien and Miyako  
Gin and Rangiku (took a LOT of thinking, I am still unsure! Please feel free to tell me if you think they are not canon!)  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.**


	11. Favorite Canon Pairing

The curtain rose and out stepped Kon and Nel.

"We're back folks!" Kon gleefully shouted to the audience. They blandly stared back at him. "Just as unfriendly as ever I see." He cleared his throat with a cough. "As you all probably know, our current category is 'Favorite Canon Pairing'."

"Which iz pretty borin' since there's only 4 choices!" Nel added.

"Buuut, we'll just get this over with," Kon said while unraveling the results in the envelope.

In the audience, Isshin was barely sitting in his seat. He was crossing both of this fingers. "Watch now Yuzu and Karin! As your fabulous papa and your beautiful mother win this award!"

Yuzu happily crossed her fingers alongside him whereas Karin merely rolled her eyes.

"And the winner is... Isshin and Masaki Kurosaki," Kon read out.

Immediately, Isshin jumped out of his seat and ripped his shirt open.

"MASAKI! I have honored you!" Isshin wept. He turned to his daughters with a flair. Now Yuzu and Karin, you may jump into your father's manly arms!" he said as tears of joy dramatically flowed from his eyes.

Yuzu offered him a proud thumbs-up. Karin, on the other hand, did not share her father's delighted mood. And it wasn't until Ichigo flung him onto the stage that Isshin's dramatic performance stopped.

"Um.. anyways, next week's category is 'Favorite Non-canon Pairing'!" A devious smile graced upon Kon's face. "I'm sure you all already know who to vote for. I would selfishly advertise myself with the love of my life, but I am a very modest person!"

Stifles of laughter and snorts could be heard in the audience.

"Ain't ya just keeping quiet cuz that girl told ya she would beat da living pulp outta ya if he said one more word?" Nel asked.

"Uh.. that too," Kon pathetically admitted.

**A little rules on what 'non-canon pairings' are:**

**-characters who are not a couple in the Bleach series**

**-2 characters who may or may not be implied to have some potential in becoming a couple in the future (MEANING NO CRACK PAIRINGS) **

**-no OCs paired with a Bleach character**

**-no yaoi/yuri as there are no characters that have been _confirmed _as a homosexual **

**-Popular examples include IchigoxRukia, IchigoxOrihime, ToshiroxKarin, ToshiroxMomo, RenjixRukia, KenpachixUnohana, UraharaxYoruichi, etc. **

(Kon: "Hey why isn't KonxRukia an example?!")

**Get my drift? Please feel free to ask questions through a review or a PM. And _please _do not vote for more than one pairing! If your vote is not a non-canon pairing, I will PM you so you can re-vote. Thank you everyone! Happy voting! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards. **


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